Chapter 14
“I guess that’s about right.”
I showed Shinji the routes I had taken so far, which I had written down on rough paper. The fact that every single one ended with “death” made me feel a bit apologetic—or perhaps reluctant—to be saying this to him in person….
The first route I took was:
Bank → Car → Town → Walking → Chinese Restaurant → Police → Death
I also wrote down the approximate time. From there, I tried writing down the journey I took for the second and third routes in the same way.
“I see. So, it doesn’t matter if it crosses into the next day. Even if we know the starting point, we still don’t know where the end is.”
Shinji pondered this while looking at the paper.
“I have absolutely no idea what I need to accomplish. At least not right now.”
I also looked at the paper and agonized over it.
“You know……
“Hm?”
“Could it be that something has to happen to Hirose-san for this to work?”
I stared at Shinji in surprise when he suddenly said something like that. Me?
“What do you mean?”
“Yeah. I mean, right now, you’re focusing on keeping me alive, right? But the only thing being repeated is your consciousness. I return to the beginning with no memories. So, I think something has to happen to Hirose-san for it to work.”
“Ah.”
I only realized it after someone pointed it out. Is that so…? Does something have to happen to me?
“Even so, what exactly needs to happen?”
“Well… I don’t know. I don’t know anything about what kind of person you are, after all.”
He stared at me intently, and I instinctively looked away.
“I’m just an ordinary person. There’s nothing special about me. I grew up in an ordinary family, went to school like everyone else, and work a regular job. That’s all. I’m completely ordinary. Surprisingly so, even to myself.”
That’s why I longed for something extraordinary.
“Your father…… isn’t around, right?”
He must have remembered what I said about the motorcycle. Shinji said.
“Ah, yeah. My father has passed away. It was sudden, due to an illness. He loved motorcycles, and he used to let me ride with him.”
“What about your mother?”
“She’s doing well. Right now, she lives with my younger brother and his wife.”
“It’s a weekday—why were you at the bank?”
“Um, a refreshment break…… I guess. I took some paid time off to just relax.”
“What’s your wish?”
My heart skipped a beat.
“…… my wish?”
“Ah, no, I was just wondering if you had a strong wish that you couldn’t live without, and if it wouldn’t come true, it wouldn’t work out.”
“My wish…?”
I looked at Shinji, who was standing right in front of me.
My wish right now, here, is to save Shinji… but that’s a feeling that only arose after this loop began. Did the me before that even have such a strong desire?
“I can’t think of anything. I was just living my ordinary, unremarkable life. I’ve occasionally thought, ‘It would be nice to be extraordinary’, but that’s about it.”
“To be extraordinary, huh?”
Shinji fell into thought. It’s true I did have that longing—to become someone special. But still…
“You don’t mean… that I can’t break out of this loop unless I become extraordinary, do you?”
I mean, seriously, I don’t think I can aim for such a vague and audacious goal!?
“Well… I’m not sure about that? You say ‘extraordinary,’ but what exactly did you have in mind?”
“Um, like… helping someone who’s lost their way, only to find out they’re an Arab oil tycoon… or something.
“Bhahaha! What the hell is that!”
Shinji burst out laughing.
“Don’t laugh so much!”
I felt my face flush with embarrassment.
“How about something a little more normal?”
Shaking my shoulders, I continued.
“Or, maybe winning the lottery…… or falling head over heels in love…… something like that?”
Ugh, what is that? Now that I say it out loud, it sounds incredibly trite! These days, even middle schoolers wouldn’t say things like that. I’m even cringing at myself for saying it.
“Falling head over heels in love…… huh?”
Shinji glanced at me with a meaningful look.
“Wh, what is it?”
“So, you’ve… fallen in love?”
He grinned. Ugh, don’t show me that cute face.
“I don’t know!”
I suddenly turned away.
“I wouldn’t mind if someone had feelings for me.”
Shinji’s voice comes from behind me. That’s so unfair. It’s not fair that I’m the only one with my heart racing and being toyed with like this!
“Hey, if that wish comes true, will it end? What do you think?”
“Huh?”
When I turned around, Shinji was staring intently at me. He put his hand on my shoulder. He pulled me closer, and our lips lightly touched.
“…… We’ve already kissed.”
I said this with my eyes downcast.
“So, what comes next?”
“Huh?”
Shinji pulled me close.
“Want to give it a try?”
Hearing him whisper that in my ear made me shiver.
“There was a nurse’s office earlier, wasn’t there?”
Shinji took my hand and started walking down the dark corridor. I just followed him silently. When we opened the door labeled ‘Nurse’s Office’, there was a small bed inside.
“Come here…… Natsumi.”
Shinji said that while still holding my hand. Hearing my name called, I was drawn to the bed as if by an invisible force. My chest ached. I was having trouble breathing.
We kissed.
Again and again, greedily.
I yearned for him. As if in response, Shinji placed his hand on my cheek.
“You don’t mind, do you?”
He stared intently into my eyes, and a warmth spread through my chest.
“I…… like you.
As if those words were the signal to begin, I was pushed down onto the bed.
I don’t remember much after that.
I simply longed for the man I loved, standing before me. Calling his name over and over. The name of the man who committed a crime. I keep calling out the name of the gentle and beloved man who had just strayed a little off the path.
Sads Translates 