Chapter 13
Stockholm Syndrome is a psychological state in which a hostage develops a psychological bond with their captor and harbors favorable feelings towards them. This begins when the hostage, in hopes of surviving, tries to appear appealing to the perpetrator—who holds them captive, and develops a favorable impression of the actions by the captor, such as providing food. From there, the hostage comes to feel affection, empathy, and even trust and a sense of solidarity.
But……
If you ask me if I feel that way about him right now, I’m not really sure. At first, we were certainly together because I was a hostage. But now… In a sense, Shinji and I are bound together by fate. Not just figuratively—literally.
I still haven’t found the answer. How can I break free from this loop?
But there’s one thing I do know. If Shinji dies, we’ll have to start all over again. That is the one indisputable fact. So I have to protect Shinji. And for that, mutual trust is absolutely essential.
“As I mentioned earlier, I really want to break free from this loop. To do that, I need your cooperation, Furuya-kun, and to get your cooperation, I needed enough information to earn your trust. That’s why I told you all those stories and repeated them over and over—it just made me feel like you were someone close to me, that’s all. I haven’t done anything strange, and besides, we’re strangers to begin with.”
—That’s a lie.
I realize it as I speak. “Someone close”—it’s not that simple. I can’t think of him as a stranger anymore. Right now, it’s something different… a different feeling. But I can’t say that. It wouldn’t do any good, would it? He’d probably just get flustered.
“You might find my presence suspicious sometimes, but don’t worry. I really want to help you, Furuya-kun, and I have no intention of asking for anything in return. Once everything is resolved, things will go back to the way they were.”
“Why……”
Shinji looked at me and grimaced.
“Huh?”
“Why… are you crying?”
“…… Huh?
It wasn’t until he asked that I realized it. I was crying.
“Huh? Ugh, this is awful. What is this?”
The more I tried to stop them, the more tears flowed. Not knowing why I was crying, and not knowing how to stop them, all I could do was stare at Shinji’s troubled face and let the tears stream down my face.
“Hey, don’t cry, Hirose-san.”
“Sorry, I can’t stop.”
I just can’t seem to stop the tears. I don’t know why. It’s just that those words—calling Shinji a complete stranger—were so sad, and I was afraid that if I said them out loud, they’d become true… I felt embarrassed and turned my back.
Gently.
Warm arms wrapped around me.
Ah, what is this? It’s the same position as when he had me in a headlock, but this time it felt gentle and warm. I see, this is what they call a back hug? There’s such a fine line between a headlock and a back hug.
“Heh, kuh, Shinji-ku~n”
I ended up crying so pitifully, but the whole time, Shinji kept holding me from behind. He was so warm and gentle, and I realized something. I must really like Shinji. It’s not just that he’s cute or a good guy — I’m starting to think something as bold as wanting to be a part of Shinji’s life.
“It’s my fault, isn’t it? Because I dragged you into this mess, this is how it turned out.”
“That’s right! Shinji-kun, if you hadn’t robbed that bank… no, if I had met you sooner, if I could have helped you before you got hurt this much, then…”
It was incredibly presumptuous of me. But I couldn’t help but wish for it.
“Hehe, even if we had met before the bank robbery, I doubt you would have even noticed me. Hirose-san, your life and mine—no matter how you look at it, there’s no way we’d ever cross paths, right?”
“Well, you never know.”
I retorted, getting defensive.
“Then, let me ask, Hirose-san. How old are you?”
I flinched at the sudden question about my age.
“A, asking a woman her age is—”
“Well, we’re going to check if there’s any overlap, so the first thing we need to consider is age, right? How old are you?”
“…… I, I’m in my thirties.”
I didn’t want to say it, but I had no choice but to confess.
“I’m 26 now. That means our school days don’t overlap.”
Ugh…… he’s four years younger. Shinji, you’re so young.
“So, what about work?”
“I’m a high school graduate working part-time. You’re an office worker, right? We definitely don’t overlap there either.”
Shinji said it in a slightly dismissive tone.
“But, you know, we’ll probably run into each other somewhere, like in the city, on the train, or in a shop.”
“There’s a difference between passing each other and crossing paths.”
Uugh…… That’s a valid point.
I know that too. He’s someone I’d never have met. Someone I probably would have never crossed paths with in my whole life. But we met. And we crossed paths.
“It’s too late now.”
I grip Shinji’s arm, which is right in front of me, tightly. I know. Because I had caught a glimpse of who Shinji really is. To Shinji, I may be a stranger, but to me, we’re no longer strangers.
“…… Are you serious?”
Shinji released his hands that were wrapped around me. I turned to face him and stared intently into his eyes.
“I don’t know what these feelings inside me are, either. But what can I do? I care about you, Shinji-kun. I want to help you. I want you to live. I just can’t help but want to see you smile.”
Ah, I bet my face is a mess right now… Why is there a part of me that can be so objective? I’m saying something that could easily be called the confession of a lifetime.
“…… Ah, thanks.”
Shinji averted his gaze. I also felt embarrassed and turned away. It was kind of undignified.
“Sorry, I’m saying some weird stuff, aren’t I?”
I hastily wipe away my tears. How long has it been since my emotions exploded like this? At least, when I was dating my ex or when we broke up, I don’t think I ever felt this kind of heat coursing through my whole body.
“No, it’s not that weird…… Hirose-san, what’s happening to you is weird to begin with, so we need to figure out why it happened, and what we should do about it, right?”
“…… Well, I guess so.
That’s right.
This is no time to be crying over a weird confession. Tomorrow will come, but I’ve also realized that tomorrow isn’t the finish line. How can I move forward? If I don’t figure that out, I’ll be stuck watching Shinji’s death over and over again.
“Maybe I should get someone other than Yasuhara-san to arrest you…”
I can’t imagine getting away with a robbery in Japan. If that’s the case, turning himself in and atoning for his crime would be the best way…… But if Yasuhara-san touches Shinji, he’ll die. Even if someone else arrests him, since he’s in charge of this case, it seems difficult to keep them apart.
What if Yasuhara-san wasn’t there…?
I caught myself thinking something outrageous and shook my head in panic. That’s not realistic.
“Yasuhara-san is the male detective, right?”
“Ah, yeah. Anyway, Yasuhara-san is absolutely out of the question.”
“You mean my heart would stop, huh?”
Shinji said in disbelief. Of course, you wouldn’t think a healthy young man could have a heart attack and die just from being touched.
“Why don’t we test it out properly sometime?”
Shinji said that and pointed to the blackboard.
“…… Yeah, that might be a good idea.”
I stood up and was about to erase the students’ words of gratitude written on the blackboard, but then I stopped.
“I can’t bring myself to erase this. Should we look for some paper and a pencil?”
“Pfft, what’s that?”
Shinji gave a soft chuckle.
That smile of his… it’s just unfair.
Shinji and I stepped out into the hallway and started looking for the staff room.
Even though it was a small school nestled in the mountains, there were plenty of rooms—a music room, a science lab, a home economics room, and more. The staff room is located near the corridor leading to the gymnasium, and desks and chairs remain as they were back then. I figured I could easily find some paper and pencils. Relying on the light from my cell phone, I went inside.
“It’s pretty dark with just the moonlight, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. But I can’t use my phone much because I don’t have a charger.”
It would be problematic if it stopped working when we needed it most. I wanted to conserve the battery as much as possible.
“Oh, I found some paper and writing utensils!”
I found some cheap paper and a pencil and showed them to Shinji.
“Well then, let’s get started on our analysis.”
Seated by the window where the moonlight streamed in, Shinji and I began writing down everything that had happened so far and analyzing it, all in order to figure out what to do next.
Sads Translates 