Chapter 12
The scenery had changed quite a bit. All I could see were mountains and a river. The occasional houses that appeared were dilapidated and showed no signs of human life.
The abandoned school was located a short way off the main road. The bikers, who were here on a tour, directed us down a side road that they knew we wouldn’t miss, and we wound our way up and up the twisting road.
At the top of the mountain, in an open clearing, stood a wooden elementary school building. When I was little, I used to visit this elementary school every time I came to my grandparents’ house. There was playground equipment in the schoolyard, and the pool was open in the summer. The school closed about fifteen years ago due to the declining birthrate and depopulation. Now, the whole area looks like a deserted village.
“So places like this really do exist.”
Shinji took off his helmet and looked around.
“Furuya-kun, did you grow up in the city?”
“Well, it’s not exactly the city, but certainly not this deep in the mountains.”
“Oh, I see. I only came here a few times a year when I was little… but I had no idea it had become like this.”
A gust of wind swept through.
The sunset is dyeing the surroundings red, but it will surely only be for a moment. The magic hour will pass and disappear like magic, and soon darkness will envelop the area.
After parking the motorcycle next to the building, Shinji and I headed into the school building. I was worried about having to break a window to get in, but that worry was unnecessary.
“I didn’t think it would actually be here, but……”
I casually pulled out a key from under a flowerpot near the staff entrance.
Back when my grandfather was still in good health, he used to volunteer for school events and such. Apparently, he’d sometimes go to the school on his days off when a teacher asked him for a favor. I’d heard that on those occasions, he’d use the key hidden under the flowerpot to get in.
I jingled the key and showed it to Shinji.
“We’re going in the proper way?”
“That’s right. We’re going to unlock the door properly and trespass.”
I chuckled and turned the key with a click. The door was a little stiff, but we got in without any trouble.
Although dust had settled inside the school, it was still clean. I peeked into the classrooms and saw drawings on the blackboards, probably made by the students when the school closed, along with messages of thanks. Since it was a small school in the mountains, there were probably not many students. The calligraphy displayed on the walls included various styles: some were written entirely in hiragana, others in kanji.
“Wow, that brings back memories!”
I exclaimed as I looked at the classroom wall. The timetable, cleaning duty roster, and even the school lunch menu were still posted there.
“A school, huh?”
Shinji muttered as he traced his finger over the desk. Ah, that’s right. Shinji is…….
“I see. This must be a bittersweet place for you, Furuya-kun.”
Shinji, who was a young caregiver, had told me that he hadn’t been able to go to school since the upper grades of elementary school. Elementary school, which is a source of happy memories for most people, must have seemed different to him.
“Huh? What was that?”
Shinji looked puzzled. Oh, right.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I heard that story from a while back… about how you couldn’t go to school.”
“Did I really tell you that much?”
“Oh, yes.”
Maybe it was something he didn’t want to talk about, or didn’t want to remember. But I wonder how Shinji felt back then, when he told me all that at the shrine.
“I guess I really trusted you.”
“…… I guess so?”
It was a strange feeling, a mix of happiness and embarrassment. But it’s true that Shinji told me all sorts of things that day.
The sun is setting.
The classroom is dark.
Only the faint moonlight streams in through the window.
“Hey, what kind of stories did you hear from me?”
“Huh?”
“I mean, if I don’t know which one of my stories you heard, that just doesn’t sit right with me.”
It was a complicated conversation.
But I smiled and answered.
“Well, it might be a little weird for the person who taught you not to know what they taught you. Okay, then I’ll tell you what you told me that day. Oh, but before that, aren’t you… hungry?”
I held up the bag I bought at a convenience store along the way.
That’s right. We talked while munching on onigiri at the shrine, didn’t we?
“Okay, I’ll listen while we eat.”
Shinji and I pushed two desks by the window together and sat down facing each other.
“Here you go. Salmon and tuna. There’s karaage and tamagoyaki, too.”
I ended up buying them. Karaage and tamagoyaki. Shinji’s favorites—the things he’d said he wanted to eat while laughing.
“Thanks.”
“I’ll have the pickled plums and the chicken gomoku.”
Shinji munched on the rice ball with a satisfying crunch. Just like that time.
“Shinji…… Furuya-kun, you told me about your grandmother. That you were a young caregiver. That’s why you couldn’t go to school. And that’s when you met Kinako, right? “
Shinji nodded in response to my words
“You mean the shrine? Yeah, meeting Kinako back then really was a lifeline for me. Even though that lifeline ended up disappearing pretty quickly.”
“Yes.”
That’s why I want to save you. Your heart… Just as I was about to say that, I clamped my mouth shut.
“Is that all? Was there anything else?”
“Um, I guess… that’s pretty much all I heard.”
I ended up phrasing it strangely. Something seemed to bother him, and as Shinji popped the onigiri into his mouth, he frowned as he chewed.
“…… I know this is a long shot, but….”
“Huh?”
My heart pounded as I wondered what he was going to say.
“Does that mean… there was… something between us?”
“Huh?”
“No, it’s just… Hirose-san, you’ve been calling me by my first name from the start, and the way you look at me… it’s kind of…”
Shinji mumbles his words.
“Hey, n, no, Shin… I mean, Furuya-kun, are you thinking something weird? It’s okay, there’s nothing!”
For some reason, I waved my hands around to cover it up. That’s right. There’s nothing. Back then, we only kissed. It was just… on a whim. Yeah, the moonlight just kind of got us in the mood. So, nothing’s going on!
“I see. Well, that makes sense. There’s no way a decent person like you could end up with a misfit like me.”
Haha, Shinji tried to smooth things over with a dry laugh. He was different from when he was at the shrine.
“That’s not what I meant!”
I couldn’t help but snap.
“Huh?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. That’s not it. Furuya-kun, it has nothing to do with you being some kind of misfit or anything like that. It’s just that I’ve met you many times, so I know a lot of your good points. You’re not a misfit at all…….”
“W, well, thanks.”
Shinji turned away, looking embarrassed.
He might not know how much he should trust me because he doesn’t feel like I actually prevented his death through my actions and words, which were almost prophetic.
A conversation that doesn’t quite click. Thoughts that pass each other by. I don’t know how to bridge this gap.
Even if you do the same things, if just one tiny detail is different, your feelings and actions can change completely……
It’s obvious, but being confronted with that fact made me sad. The Shinji who kissed me at the shrine that day, and the Shinji standing right in front of me now. They should be the same person, yet they’re different.
Watching Shinji stuff his face with fried chicken right in front of me, I feel a sense of loneliness. What does this mean? Do I like Shinji? Which Shinji is that? Or is this what they call “Stockholm Syndrome”?
But Stockholm syndrome is supposed to involve a clear relationship between a captor and a captive. Does it apply to me? I never felt fear toward Shinji, nor did I feel like I was being held captive.
I look at Shinji.
The frustration of knowing he’s there, yet I can’t touch him.
The feelings that blossomed at that shrine won’t fade from my heart…
Sads Translates 