Chapter 21
I found myself thinking of the term “parallel universe”—what’s commonly called a “parallel world“. It seemed like something out of science fiction. The idea that there are countless other worlds that branch off from a single world and exist in parallel with it.
…… I began to wonder if I was actually in one of those parallel universes.
In this way, all the worlds where I made a choice actually exist. Thinking about it that way, it somehow makes sense. There are as many worlds as there are choices I’ve made.
But if that’s the case, then there is no “answer” anywhere. Starting from the moment of the bank robbery—the first branching point—I change my choices. The ultimate destination is Shinji’s death. That’s the end—only the path and the time it takes to get there are different each time.
When I opened my eyes slightly, there was Shinji’s sleeping face. His profile was so cute, almost childlike, and so endearing I couldn’t help but love him. Just looking at him made my heart ache as my feelings for Shinji swelled.
Is it because of this situation?
I can’t say it isn’t. As Shinji said, if not for this encounter, the two of us would never have crossed paths. Even if we had met somewhere, we probably wouldn’t have spoken to each other.
“Is it… the urge to protect him?”
When I muttered to myself, Shinji’s eyes snapped open.
“Ah, sorry. Did I wake you?”
As I tried to say this in a quiet voice,
“No…… I just couldn’t fall asleep, so I was awake.”
“I see.”
“So, what do you mean by ‘urge to protect’?”
Shinji shifted his position so we were facing each other and asked.
“Ah…… well, I was just wondering if these feelings I have for you, Shinji-kun, might be the urge to protect you.”
“…… Is that so?”
“Hmm~ I don’t know. I don’t really have a particular fondness for taking care of people or anything like that……”
Certainly, some women believe that ‘taking care of someone is love’. They’re the type who love to devote themselves and end up doing everything for the other person. But that’s just not me. Even when I’m faced with a loser, I’m the type who just thinks, ‘Ah, this guy’s such a slacker’.
“Then maybe it’s not a protective instinct then?”
Shinji said with a chuckle.
“Yeah. No…… I don’t think so…”
The reason I couldn’t completely deny it was because seeing Shinji smile made my heart flutter again.
“So, how about this?”
Shinji said, stroking my cheek with his finger.
“You know, that day at the shrine, I found Kinako. She was so cute, so adorable, so I fed her and petted her. Is that the urge to protect someone?”
“Huh?”
I pondered the meaning of the question in my mind. Back then, Shinji couldn’t even go to school and suffered every day—it must have been really tough for him. That’s when he met Kinako, a hungry, adorable cat. If he felt the urge to protect her, then that would be a protective instinct…… I guess. Probably, yes.
But……
It couldn’t have been that simple. For Shinji back then, Kinako was his emotional anchor, his source of comfort—she must have been incredibly important to him.
“I don’t think Shinji-kun’s feelings for Kinako can be summed up in a single word, you know?”
“Right? That’s exactly it.”
“Huh?”
Suddenly, he said something like “That’s correct!”, and I ended up giving a clueless reply.
“Love, romance, liking someone… does assigning ‘meaning’ to things like that even make any sense?”
“Hmm?”
I didn’t quite understand what Shinji was saying, so I tilted my head in confusion.
“So, you know, I liked Kinako. I really, really loved her.”
“Yeah, I get it.”
“It doesn’t matter what that ‘like’ actually means, does it? Anyway, she was important to me, and I liked her..”
“…… Ah.”
“Natsumi, you think you like me. Is there really a need to force meaning or reasons for that ‘liking’?”
“…… Maybe not.”
Hearing Shinji say that, I realized it for the first time. That’s right. There’s no need to overthink liking someone. I just like him. I don’t know why, but I really, really like him. I absolutely, definitely like him!
“Shinji-kun, I really like you.”
When I said it out loud, Shinji smiled contentedly.
“I like you too, Natsumi. Right now, I feel like I could have three bowls of white rice just from this feeling.”
“White rice…… Pfft, what’s that supposed to mean?”
When I burst out laughing, Shinji started laughing too.
“Like this, you know?”
After a burst of laughter, Shinji’s expression became a little more serious as he began to speak.
“I haven’t felt so at ease just being with someone since my grandmother.”
“I’m happy… but also kind of conflicted…….”
I don’t think I can ever compete with my own family…especially a grandmother, who is such a significant presence. Besides, can I really take the word “at ease” as a compliment? Wouldn’t something like “it makes my heart race” sound more romantic?
“Maybe it’s just the old me talking, but no matter who I was with or where I was, I could never feel like I could just be myself.”
“Huh?”
“I’ve spent my whole life wondering, ‘Who am I? Where do I belong?'”
“Shinji-kun……”
A place where you belong.
A place where you can feel it’s okay to be here.
Something like that……
“It’s okay! Shinji-kun, you can stay by my side. It’s not just that it’s okay for you to be there, I want you to be there! I want you to stand shoulder to shoulder with me and laugh beside me. If it’s okay for me to be by your side, then I want to stay like this forever and ever.”
My emotions exploded. I’ve never fallen for anyone this much before.
“Thanks, Natsumi.”
Shinji’s eyes grew moist, as if riding the wave of my emotions.
I’d never believed in fate, but at that moment, I felt Shinji was so special to me that I almost thought I’d been born just to meet him.
I wanted an answer.
I desperately wished for a future where I could walk alongside him—
Sads Translates 